Jan
14

A Little Something Different On Twitter ...

Here are some excerpts from the latest star on Twitter.  A prize to the person who can name the clerk. My bet? There is no such clerk. Someone is just having a whole lot of fun.


Article III Clerk

@ArticleIIIClerk United States
Current law clerk for a Senior U.S. District Judge on the East Coast. He's really fucking old, so I roll the dice of justice on my own.
 Article III Clerk 
 
NOTE TO PLAINTIFF'S LAWYERS: If you ignore Twombly and Iqbal in the Opp to a MTD, you should be disbarred. They happened. Deal with it.
 Article III Clerk 
 
It'd be a mess if the Judge has a living will. Will broach topic delicately next week. RT   you are a mess!
 Article III Clerk 
 
Yeah!! That way they can learn from all the genius attorneys I deal with. MT  Will CA Law Grads Have to Complete Residencies?
 Article III Clerk 
 
I really, really hope the Judge doesn't die while I'm clerking.
 Article III Clerk 
 
You should probably be watching "Intervention" instead. RT Watching The Firm on NBC so I can get prepared for life as a lawyer.
 Article III Clerk 
 
What does Esq. stand for? MT  In case u missed - Skipping the Legal Partner Track for a Private Shingle 
 Article III Clerk 
 
Practicing attorneys are goddamn retarded. MT  Our bar exam outlines are written by a practicing attorney!
 Article III Clerk 
@  
 I'm a de facto Art. III judge at age 27 & haven't talked to "boss" in 3 days. What in the living fuck are you talking about?
 Article III Clerk 
 
Clerk of court is either on smack or she is retarded. 2 days since I gave her ruling. Release my brilliance to the people. Let them weep.
 Article III Clerk 
 
WHAT?!? It didn't go to a plaintiff's firm???? AmLaw's IP litigation department of the year goes to Finnegan Henderson.
 Article III Clerk 
 
You'll want to kill yourself when you graduate and are unemployed. My Con Law professor likes killing trees. 
 Article III Clerk 
 
If you put "Esquire" after your name at the end of your motion, I will rule against you. Every. Time.
 Article III Clerk 
 
Would you rather burn alive in a house fire, or work for a judge who runs for reelection?
 Article III Clerk 
@  
 First, it's meritless. Second, while it may settle, I don't leave the chance of trial in the hands of greedy plaintiff's lawyers.
 Article III Clerk 
 
Meanwhile, I read Plaintiff's briefs that don't even have complete sentences. MT  Here at 1:33am, inserting smart quotes.
 Article III Clerk 
 
If you have to read E&E for conlaw, you've already lost. MT reading E&E for constitutional law . . . .
 Article III Clerk 
 I'm also trying to find state court clerks to mock. If your judge wasn't appointed by POTUS & confirmed by Senate, then GTFO.
 Article III Clerk 
What kind of people apply for state court clerkships?
 Article III Clerk 
Thing is, if I don't grant this MSJ, this thing might actually go to trial. Which means I have to interact with Judge in person. Paaassssss.
 Article III Clerk 
Like, intellectually, I recognize that plaintiff's lawyers aren't actually retarded. But you definitely get cynical in this line of work.
 Article III Clerk 
It should be illegal to practice in federal court if you're working on a contingency-fee basis.
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About Norm Pattis

Norm Pattis is a Connecticut based trial lawyer focused on high stakes criminal cases and civil right violations. He is a veteran of more than 100 jury trials, many resulting in acquittals for people charged with serious crimes, multi-million dollar civil rights and discrimination verdicts, and scores of cases favorably settled.

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I believe that the state is a necessary fiction and that failing to combat it is the first step toward tyranny.
– Norm Pattis

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Nothing in this blog should be considered legal advice about your case. You need a lawyer who understands the context of your life and situation. What are offered here are merely suggested lines of inquiry you may explore with your lawyer.

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