Woody Allen Becomes A Trial Lawyer

I am hung over today, spent, limp and dangling by a thread. Wherever I was yesterday, or the day before or the day before is a blur. Today I am unsteady and trying hard to catch my bearings. All this and I haven't a drop of alcohol. I'm recovering from a trial. It was a tough one.

The jury is still out, so I do not know whether to laugh or cry. I am unbearable when I win, all ass and elbows high-fiving the stars and strutting. I am also unbearable when I lose, head low, chin plowing a trough as I crawl beneath the nearest rock. Truth be told, I am simply unbearable most of the time. It would take a psychiatrist to figure it all out.

And so I have elected to begin a Freudian psychoanalysis. It's been nearly a month now, four hours a week spent staring at the ceiling of a tiny office free associating. The methodological premise? The analyst is a blind man beside me on the train; I recite what passes by.

So I revel in chaos. One moment unearthing the memory of the first girl to have stolen my heart; the next fretting about a stray remark overheard just the other day. Playing the lead role in my own version of Woody Allen cum trial lawyer is wide open road: I have no idea where I am heading or even why. The ride feels less like a train that a rubber rocket launched into dark room: on impact I try to chart the vector as I carom off in another direction.

A different take on old, old material will no doubt make me a better storyteller. Yet somehow telling my own story seems to be the hardest work of all.

Comments: (1)

  • You are worth it.
    You are worth it.
    Posted on April 11, 2009 at 2:44 pm by Anonymous

Add a Comment

Display with comment:
Won't show with comment:
How many sides does a square have?
*Comment must be approved and then will show on page.
© Norm Pattis is represented by Elite Lawyer Management, managing agents for Exceptional American Lawyers
Media & Speaker booking [hidden email]